where's de chopperr?

ayes.

2005-12-04T05:44:00.000-08:00

LOUD DEEP LONG SIGH* mummy, tell me whats' on your mind will you?

sleepless nights.
when im out, i worry.
anxiety.
more anxiety.
and more anxiety.

please tell me what should i do?

its another day.

2005-12-01T07:52:00.000-08:00

i had so much fun during training today. :D it was a little tiring, but i tink the chong ghee feeling's coming back. step by step, slowly. thanks everyone! and for the encouragement. i LOVE IT! in e morning went to the pool for awhile only. then home, then training. FUN!
tmmr's the gym! then bring ervyn to get his haircut. that little boy. first time he's going to a salon. well, all along it was the barber's for him. so he didnt know where to go, so yeap. hopefully bball in e evening. oh man, i stink! this entry wont be long. saturday, NATIONAL YOUTH TRANING. oh what the heck. im speechless about that. some of you know why. but its okay. i'll still train, but not in hope for something, anything. just a fitter and stronger me. :D thats the way, gwen. then evening, what should i do. wee. that depends, spend time with mummys! good idea.
ohoh, im so excited. im gonna learn GOLF! how exciting. okay lah. but im learng it with my brother, AND HIS FIENDS! feels a little weird though. but its okay lah i guess. kor, dont leave me out, cries* hmm. the exciting thing is actually YOGA and KICKBOXING at amore fitness. luckily, im sixteen. :D student package. evil laughs* well with all these, and i just startd GYM like two days ago. hopefully, i'll be fitter.
so wish i could work at CHECKS! but they're looking for full time people. damn! but its okays. gonna work event coordinator with bird they all. 30 bucks a day. :D my first PAY! my first JOB. not really official. but STILL. dear, u haf the previlage of my first pay. I INSIST. :D lalalalas. oh gawh, im meetg QIAN MUMMY and BAOZHEN soon. i missed them. weee.

well i really stink. END! :D
wait, dear. come back quick, i'll be so talkative. and u will be right. thanks for the sweets. :D ill definitely love them. i miss you loads. though im quite busy while your away, but i miss you! come back. safe and sound, in a piece. hope u grow fatter. hahaha, what? what a weird hope. u better not be skinner. i promise you good food when u come back. :D come home soon. anyways, marlow and marshmallow's been great. so sad, my friends saw lao turtle and they said it was evil and it looked ALIEN! how could they. i love him,its okay. wait, HER? whatever lahs. TWO MORE DAYS. i pray that u met many many many FRIENDS, learn LOTSA THINGS, no injuries, happy days. i bet you'll come home stronger, greater, AND EVERYTHING POSITIVE.
love you. :D

im here once again.

2005-11-20T17:13:00.000-08:00

my tailbone's hurt. how? guess i'll go see a doctor but. BUT! argh, oh wells. ahaas. its quite miserable having to sit and stand and walk with the pain! i shouldnt whine so much. but still. cant tink too much of it rights? mr ng's going away. 10days, gone. come back for 2days and he's gone again. cries* i'll miss you my dear. i'll promise to take care of myself, u too? remember the emergency chocolate i gave you. ((((: hope it helps. haha, abit lame though, but nyhehehe. when ur away, i'll be playg the seven eleven cup, three on threes, etc. i'll try not to give up alrights. ur words are somewhere floating arouund me already. err. yes! i'll wait for you to come back then i whine to you alrights. you little naughty boy, please DRINK gallons of water, stares* and eat as much as you can. suprise suprise on the day that you leave, hehs. i'll make sure i'll enjoy myself. while your there, you musnt give up okays, DO YOUR BEST. remember the little booklet they gave you that day, remember those words in there. i'll promise to miss you. its not a promise, well. more like its in me already. im startg to miss you of course. we'll spend 17th together, and xmas. we wont be deprived of these two special days!

exams are over soon, and what should i do these holidays. irving's asking me to learn how to drive a motor boat ! so excited. my australia's trip with chern hui could be cancelled. :( but its okay lahs, we might get to go tioman and etc. year's ending, days in guangyang's ending. all those memories. hails* ken and angela's leaving. cries* ken for thai then china to study, angela, hong kong! luanjinda thanasan! i will remember you, the sensible talks you gave me at times. hahahhs, i know your secrets pretty. aahahhas. evil smile* rugby with the class. SCREAMS! we won all the rugby matches at inter class competition. even basketball, floorball, captain's ball. i love you all. ahahhs, sorry about the markers fetish i had. i drew stuff on your hands and books, anyhow scribbled everything through. my bestest memories with 4E3! we must go invade chomp chomp again. and we must find fields to tackle each other again, and DIG ALL THE MUD,ahhahahahs. patches of holes in the fields. wee* and ms joey tan, thank you!

mr ng, take care of yourself while your there.

yes yes, im here to blog!

2005-10-10T22:40:00.000-07:00

i had a bad day though. but it ended well. thanks to aunty* well, i cried myself to sleep again, i've sinned, im not supposed to do that ah. right right, hmmm. sorry aunty* i remember my promise but you knows. and i just felt everything overpouring me. i was at lost, what shoould i do? yes, i dont know how to handle stress well as usual, al i knew was. GO SLEEP, GWEN! haha. 31 more days, and soon it'll be 13. gee, time flies really past, will i cheat myself again, or would i be crying because i have results ranged from 1s to 3s? its a good question. i've started to slack again. i cant. sigh. nvm, i must jiayous! like what aunty* aways tells me. thanks aunty for always being patient. thanks for you being around always.

*God, please bless aunty's* ulcers, they are really bad.

its been a long long time.

2005-10-04T20:05:00.000-07:00

studies have showed that gwen's a sadist.
hanbin knows it all.
days been great. but have been short tempered and demanding! hmm. its okays. i'll blog some other time. i gotta study! heh heh. maths maths here i come!

what can i say.

2005-08-31T00:19:00.000-07:00

it was just a SUPERB day.
how silly of me. telling someone how i feel was just as simple as ABC. agree? nods* i used to think it was hard. VERY hard indeed. but now. not at all. thanks dear, thanks friends. thanks everyone. all of you, whom i live for. thanks for being understanding always. dear, thanks for being there always. nothing's impossible. EVERYTHING's POSSIBLE! smiles* i apologise too, for being so serious and, so demanding. i shouldnt get angry over this, sorry. smiles* forgive me please? dear, forgive me too? it was a hard time to pass by. there's nothing wrong with me. but if there is, do say. i'll take it in a different stride. thanks for everything, everyone.
greatest thanks to dear and cherlyn. FRIENDS too! everyone. (((((: it really feels better saying things out. i really felt so much better. it took me sucha long time to realise that it was just so simple. thanks to all, i realise it now.

now, i haf another problem.
how do i express all my thanks to all of you.
grins*

stares*

2005-08-27T00:51:00.000-07:00

if your nice, help me. if your not nice, SHUT UP.
i had a great great day. ((((: summarised*
people around me. please dont stop me from climbing my way up. stop mouthing to me that i'm what what what. u know something, it does matter. but please question yourself first before you comment about me. ask yourself whether you understand me enough to mouth something about me. as i am trying very hard, this dumb comments can pull me down. before you say something about even, ask yourself why i am like that. if you can answer this question. then come tell me. tell me if you have the good intention of wanting me to change. not just to bullshit about me. if you want to help me to change me, tell me the reason. if you dont intend to, and you just want to give me a nasty comment. keep your mouth shut. anyone in the right mind who know that if someone has so low self esteem and so stressed and uptight would know that they'll be heard if they tell them such nasty comments. understand? imagine if one day your just so tired, but your face writes, im pissed. how will you feel? you'll feel that you're wronged isnt it. thats how i feel. and for goodness sake, please think before you say anything. i know some of you have good intentions, but please lah. phrase it in a nicer way can. and people, STOP calling me autistic. if i was, i would be one of those kids that suffers from hundreds of needles at the chinese sinseh every weekend. do you know that autistic people go through lots of pain. its not funny or anything. wait till u see a small little autistic kid cry when hundreds of needles are peirced in. and obviously i dont go through that, so screw it. dont call me autistic. yes, i have problems with expressing myself, then help me. tell me how to express myself better. rather than just calling me autistic. help me to change, not help me to give up okay. thanks for everyone who have been trying to help me.
i guess its only my dear. no more words of sorry rights? i must be a happy girl. and i will be. thanks for always going all out. and remember, your comments matter most to me. cos you understand me, you know whats wrong. it DOES MATTER, don tink it doesnt har. thanks for everything. I AM A SOON-TO-BE HAPPY GIRL.

GREAT DAY!

2005-08-25T23:50:00.000-07:00

i had another wonderful day. thank the Lord.
i was in school and all. i failed math mock. laughs* so mani mani mani mani careless mistakes. frowns* its okay. i'll definitely do somethig about it. laa dee dums. then then then. ALL the way till school ended. went home to bathe, then went to meet kaixin and huijuan. then studied, huijuan went off around seven. thought kaixin a little chemistry, then went NTUC! hahas, i think i just enjoy my time there. super markets, liberties, whatever u call it. OH YAH! i've got flu the whole day, till now im still hafing it. whines* okay, back to the superrbbb markets. hahas. i bought sweets, biscuits, yoghurt, packet drinks, and plastic boxes. compared prices and etc etc. hahas, i shall master NTUC. evil laughs* so many things i want to stock up at home. and of course i bought all those for school. gaf my brother a small box of sweets to put in his bag too. haha, its written, 'BENKOH CHEWS!' hahas. going to do one for mr aunty too. grins* sheesh, meant to be a suprise. GRINS! its okay lah. oh oh oh. MS TAN FOUND OUT ABOUT MR AUNTY! she said she us at hougang. oh my. so amazing har. but she didnt know that mr aunty was my special someone. hehe. now SHE KNOWS. and oh ya, she's forcing me to do maths le. but its okay, i'm willing to stay for ther 'detention classes'. hahas. aiyoh, i sight track alot. so horrible. okay, yah where was i. hmmm. okay then i went home i started packing the sweetboxes and stuff, then i started packing my table, then cleaning, then i ended up sweeping the whole house floor, then i ended doing the laundry. such a sense of satisfaction. lols, for me lah at least. MUMMY's AWAY! thats why i got the previlage to do all THESE! screams* i miss mummy, but i hope she's doing fine and all. will drop her a message later. hehe. thats about all. FLU FLU FLU! nose's rotting and falling off my face any moment. and float into the big blue sea. washed away by the waves. into neverland. i'm nuts.

just another day.

2005-08-23T23:01:00.000-07:00

im a HAPPY girl today. thank God for the wonderful day.
hehe. (((: i had a great day i must say. it may be just any other day to other people. but i was all (((((: the whole day. thats why i love it. yepp. seeing me smile the whole day is .... unusual? or perhaps unlikely. but i'll make it LIKELY! and POSSIBLE every other day. anyways, had the usual lessons nd all. stayed back to do revision till tuition time. then met ms jansy, did acids, salts, and bases today. weees~ then abit of ionic eqns and ORGANICE CHEMISTRY! i just love organic chemistry, and i love chemistry as well. its getting chicken feet. soon i'll be ha-ing all the way. well oh wells! ahahhas. i must start to LOVE every subject. i hope so. prays* british council starts after the holiday week, two days a week, 2 hours each lesson. ahaha. and one of the two days, is FRIDAY. so i guess i cannot play basketball already. that means. SIGHS* but its okays. i can't get sad yahs. i cant, or i'll cry. and yadas yadas. hope i'll pull through strong and fast. God's watching over me! (((: im blessed child. YES, I AM! september holidays gonna be tiring. thursday to sunday, 0800am-1200mn everyday, MR ADAM KHOO. here i come!! flys* that means i wont be seeing mr aunty. frowns* i'm sorry mr aunty, forgive me alrights. i'll try my best to meet you on saturday, sunday, so on before i go for my 'camp'. please take care of yourself while im sort of away. i'll be missing you, always on my mind aunty. (((((: PRELIMS coming. takes a deep breathe* ALL THE WAYS with the waves. oh my, what am i talking about. lalalalalas. got my locker! so far away from the others, so sad. but its okay lahs. hmmm, packed my locker stuff, shall place everything in tmmr. hehe. must be NEAT! or it'll be like my friends'. HORRIBLE CANS! anyhow chuck. chuck chuck chuck. chuck them in. i'm abit too exhausted, that explains my nonsensical stuff in here. so i'll go lie down now and walk into dreamland.
dear lord, please bless hanbin. and here i am to pray for his health and that nothing will go wrong, and i believe in you, lord, that you'll bless him like how you've always blessed me. let all his checkups go smoothly and may all results come out fine, amen*

wonderful day.

2005-08-18T22:55:00.000-07:00

THE MAID. a little laughter. abundant shock. yet a good storyline. (((((: enjoyed it with mr aunty. i was kinda freaked out. but im alrights, worth watching. smiles* so overjoyed about my chemistry marks. but hmmm. hope MS TAN didnt make any mistakes in remembering my marks. hahas. ((((: its too good to be true. geeee- if i get those marks, ill be so like.. MOTIVATED!
school was great today. detest english lesson. but MR anba's a nice guy. just not good in teaching. not his forte. ahahahs. and when he raises his voice. you wouldnt wanna know. yeahs. mdm yong was damn irritating yet nice in a way. contradicting teachers i have. she's damn naggggyyy. its tht kinda nag you dont wanna hear that kind? but im a psycho i love pple to nag at me. hmm.
then then then, took my alcohols and acids test after school. can i get like GOOOD! marks again? ponders* hope i can. lalalalalaas.
then then then, met mr aunty for movie. and as i said its quite a good show. hails* rather ...... how should i say. electricuting? aahahahhas, you'll just jump in your seats like you got electrocuted. ahahahahs. but it has a rather nice storyline. mr aunty, sorry for grabbing. ahahahs. i was just, you knows. grins* love the red and turtles? its cute right!!!!!! ahahahahs. i love it. i know its kinda crazy. but once in awhile? smiles* thanks for the wonderful day! loves.

im touched.

2005-08-16T00:04:00.000-07:00

thanks for everything youve done for me. thanks for tolerating the hunger, tiredness and everything just to give me a wonderful one year this wednesday. but due to long sch hours and its o levels, sorry if i cant celebrate it with you on that day. but i know it'll be a meaningful day for me. thanks ms pillar* your the greatest, but next time dont already okays. u cannot go hungry and all de okay, u know how that heart feels yeahs. (((: and as your mummy said, sincerity's the most important, so anything is fine. i'll LOVE it as it something from you and your heart. i wont tell anyone what to buy for me de alrights, cos i just want a simple present, something that u think would be nice for me is the most heart warming present to me. you were a present from God, i dont need anymore other presents dear. u overrule every single present.

(((((: loves. another 11hrs 56mins.

its gonna be a hard year.

2005-08-14T14:35:00.000-07:00

how should i smile, and make someone smile with me too?
im so wrong. i donoe i gave others the impression that i sounded im angry. im not. i don seem to be me. i donoe. or am i all along like that. im sorry for me. i get so irritated and angry with myself very easily. im really a tyrant. i guess i cant say donoe, but im really lost. but yet i don wish to accept any help. but i wan some help. whats wrong with me. i donoe whats the right approach. i got so mani things in mind. a blessed child, trying to please my mom, do as mani things correctly but getting so mani negative opinions that i don care, whenever i play ball i'll get so upset, gotta study so hard, but yet wannna play bal well, cannot play wel must train, where am i going to find the time? am i giving myself unneccessary pressure or what, or maybe im not. BUT, im so uptight. arghs. whenever i get upset, i'll cry, and ms pillar wil get upset too.

it was a GREAT ending today.

2005-08-12T00:58:00.000-07:00

smiles, im a blessed nd lucky child.
i love today. though it was bad like hmmm, three quarters. but towards the end of the beautiful night. it was indeed marvellous. thanks to mr aunty. ((((: you saw me cry a million times, u hear me cry a million times, and you patiently listen to those muffled words of mine. thanks for everything. and when i get unreasonable, you seem so calm, patient, treating it with a smile. thanks for listening and holding me when i cry. thanks mr pillar. ((: u should go sell pillars har. YOURS are great. grins* its so so comforting to know that someone just allows me to cry and pour. with no restrictions. nd thats MR AUNTY!

i'm back!

2005-08-11T23:28:00.000-07:00

ahahahs. i did this. i LOVE it. i shall cut my bread like that and i shall gobble it up. ans, i'm mugging hard, so my posts wil be short, but i'll try my best to blog as much. i missed you guys. ((((: take care in e mean time, thanks for everyone around me. i'm a very lucky girl indeed.
blessed life* thank God and the people around me to make things smile) take GOOD care!

another day,

2005-08-11T15:32:00.000-07:00

i got a four for chinese. frets* nvm, those who know me wil know what i'll do. dont worry i guess i'll be fine. and my blog says, SMILE! of course i will. so tired today, did titration. so FUN! haha, i'm screwed. nevermind. sad, but what can i do. some four isnt that bad, some four is bad. its how we look at it i guess. but nevertheless, i'm fine. so so so so so so so tired. but its okay, i'll be awake, jumping! ahahhs, oh my. yes, oh my's the word to describe me. i guess the blog's dead without u guys. but its okay, i'l do my part to keep it alive.
bye my mates.

its reallie boring!

2005-05-16T23:35:00.000-07:00

geees. i gotta be stuck at home for donoe how mani daes u knoe. i wanna go back ta sch. but walk a few steps also can cry tht kind. how am i going to survive in sch, i reallie wanna go back thou. but dad and brother wants mie ta stay home. this time mie injury reallie is kinda bad i guess. sprained ankle.and now is bruised all over. wads worst the other leg's knee is injuredd. so practically jus like a disabledd but yea whad can i doo. yeahh hope i can get well soon.

ehhyees. anione can update mie on homework and whats goin on in schoo please? (((((: wil appreciate u guys' help.

tonite was a little hard ta pass by. but its alright. i'll recover faster. and i'll be up on my feet again. weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeessss~

its been a MOUNTAIN years! (((:

2005-05-15T21:10:00.000-07:00

yeah its been a mountain years since i've blogged. gee, how's everyone doing? the exams are over and i can't play for awhilee. not even 15mins of enjoyment frrom bball and i'm downn. downnnnn!! yeahs. i injured my right knee and left ankleeee! i haf difficulties walking. and doc says right knee's a slight fracture. i'm screaminggg in painnn. oh wells. i'm down for two weeks. two weeks!!!! how bad can that get. its damn irritating las. and i'm stuck at home. i can't go ta sch until fridae or somethingg. i'll try and begg my parents ta lemme go thou. sighs* nvmm.
exams was a horror though. oh hails* wad am i ta do? everything's screwingggggggg. nvmm. (((:

CHOPS! (x

2005-04-01T18:34:00.000-08:00

morning morning!! todae's sports dae. gee. i woke up arnd five thirty. yup. had a good bath! a cold one. yahs. but mie ankle and knee hurts. guess i'll do quite badly for mie whadever events later. nvm las. arghs. i'll do mie best. yup. (x its 6.35 now. another ten mins i'm leaving e house! yays. finallie found mie house t-shirt. has. i everithing also last min de las. then i got no safety pins for mie number tag. uh oh. nvm. hmm yas. then liddat lors. (: i'll end of here first. go wake my brother up to fetch mie alreadie. yup. smiles. u all take kaire! its been a long time since i'd been here. i'll be back. CHOPS!

emotional roller coaster ride.

2005-03-05T01:08:00.000-08:00

ups and downs. (: all my passing phases. its tiring. but i haf ta go thru to grow. i feel as thou i'm on an emotional roller coaster ride.

i can sae life without our 43 year old, medium pot belly, cute looking, humorous, man in e house for a week is disastrous. somehow. i feel this wae las. whad a wae ta describe. yeah. but this is how i reallie feel. daddie mommie i love you! i had atrocious daes. for like five daes at least. aniwaes daddie didn't go aniwhere. but jus went on business trip to hongkong lah huhs. but thts enuff ta dampen our daes. hmm. mebee not that bad. i'm jus being exaggerating. yeahs. dramatic mie. oh yeah back ta the point. mie mom picked on mie for the past few daes. left mie with fears and EVERYTHING. i was waking up everi morning thinking whad shud i do tht will be right so i won't make her feel agitated. went ta school crying todae. i cudnt help it. finallie. all these daes are over. mie dad came home this evening .. and mie mom seemed a different person. she seem so calm and happie. i guess its mie pot belly daddie. (: calmed her and etc etc. mebee she felt insecure without daddie around. its okaes. at least i don haf so much fear in waking up everi morning cracking mie brains trying to do everithing right. but still. i will do mie best ta make mummie happie.

CHOCOLATE POPCORN! mr penknife hear tht?
lemony snickets series of unfortunate events's a good show!
HALO HALO HALO.. count olaf. oh wells. watch it n u'll know. (:

its a great dae.

2005-02-24T23:11:00.000-08:00

whees. (x went for tuition. had so much fun. burt of cos i did learn sth har. smiles. hmm. den after tht training was cancelled. was so upset. so i decided to go hong kah for once during school daes. i made a good choice. cos i went dere i plaed ball all e wae. NON-STOP! non-stop i mean. smiles* yeah. plaed with weibin they all first. den bird mie guan hong and huilin plae with wenbang they all. so so much fun.
mr pnkfe's sick. doctor gaf him two daes MC! pls pls pls pls take kaire. cover blanket. drink enuff water. get enuff rest. SLEEP more. think ur too too too shagged out frm the bball competitions. alwaes never sleep enuff. shakes head* sorrie can't take kaire of eu yahs. pls don anihow eat food alreadie. think can't go get food from the coffee shop at midnights. could haf caused u ur diarrhoea yeahs. sillie penknife. shud eat ur meals earlier. (: God bless this little boy.

mie back's hurting badly. the pain's getting on my nerves. even when i walk. please let it be some muscle ache. i don wann it ta hinder mie basketball life.

i'm depressed.

2005-02-19T17:08:00.000-08:00

why can't i play bball

its been a long time since this retard has blogged.

2005-02-18T16:53:00.000-08:00

hahas. retard here! tard tard tard. blog blog blog. (: lols. aniwaes hey guys how haf eu all been doing? weees. smiles. i jus came home frm school. yahs. reallie reallie tired also. sorrie didn't go plae ball with you* .. didn't wanto interupt u guys plae ball yeahs. yahs. dui bu qi. yupp yupp. sorrie okayes? forgiven?

aniwaes. yeahs.. hmm. ytd. was inter ROAD RAIN RACE! everi year we haf our inter road relay race it'll rain like mad. (: hahas. well. we came in fourth. and BWL came in first! hahas. yupp yupp. nvm las. its jus fair when we organize and they top the group and when they organised we top theirs. laalalas. yup yup. and .. nothing much actuallie had a reallie great time. and miss tan mie jinx and enling and kamariah sitting in e middle of carpark TALKING! lols. veri softly okaes.
yahs in e middle of nowhere.

then .. nothing reallie happened actuallie.. oh yahs. i'm so confused.. combine school or chong ghee? whad am i to do. how shud i choose? whad do i reallie want? whad can i do? sighs*

SOMEONE HELP THIS RETARD!! (:

nothing much.

2005-02-11T07:22:00.000-08:00

nothing much todae. i'm stil down with that stupid flu.
its irritating. cos its like coming back and den going awae like
its some hotel liddats. jees. cries* and i'm like stuck at home
not wanting ta to do anithing. even jus ta get mie ass outta
bed ta go visiting. hahahas. and mie dad thot i had fever or sth.
lols. so kewt. he just lemme rest las. (: thanks dadaey. ahhahs.
hmmm. i ate INDIAN food on chinese new year hugging mie bolster.
den i ate oranges. and someone wanted ta challenge mie to eating
oranges eh? hahaha. evil laughs* hmm. well i can't find ani sweet ones for now.
so i'll jus keep e space in mie stomach for some other things maybe?

shud i be happie or sad?

2005-02-09T21:51:00.000-08:00

hmm. its a little crankie dae. much has happened.
but somehow. somehow a miracle has happened?
something that i prayed and wished for.
something just happened.
its positive.
mebee i jus hafto thank God for this.

i donoe if this miracle is good.
cos the incident might jus happen and make everione tired again.
but its alrights.
i'm reallie glad it came out this way.
i am.
thank God.

sigh*

2005-02-06T01:24:00.000-08:00

mie mind's a little screwed up this few daes. and i feel so paranoid about mie exams. especially tht stupid big O. help mie overcome it.

kelvin koh. i don think u'll ever get to read this bahs. do eu knoe tht its irritating if eu love someone but u hafto keep asking for advice. why don u jus take e courage ta jus go and do whad u want. were u alwaes like tht? thinking and being scared about everithing. i thought u super bo chap. go and get whad u want. u also mus knoe whad's urs and not urs. u haf ta accept it. if u love someone but is at e same time. whad's e whole point. loving someone else shud be something joyful something u wud cherish and be happie about. if loving was so vexed. go and get a life and lead it happily. if u reallie like her go ahead and do whadeva u want. stop hanging urself in e middle of nowhere and jus wake up. wake up to reality tht this world's realistic but somehow there are miracles and its still beautiful. u'll never knoe whad will happen. do ur best in everithing las. everithing also scared. then might as well jus gif it up. live life to the fullest. not say ur like 30 yrs old and fear of rejections. live it, experience it. u'll never knoe when u haf found someone true enuff ta love eu and eu ta love her. i alwaes ask u to think for urself and lead ur own life. sometimes u jus gotta decide for urself mie dear little mouse.

aniwaes. whadeva u do u'll haf our full support yeahs. (:

pls tell mie whad u want.

2005-01-31T18:38:00.000-08:00

yi jen. kimarie. please tell me whad eu want from me.

i'm happie at first. burt now sad.

2005-01-21T11:50:00.000-08:00

hmm. i'm sad tht i can't help those around mie who are sad .. i donoe. its jus like. i donoe how ta help. sigh. seeing em so sad jus makes mie wanna tear. burt i wanna let them knoe tht i'll be strong for dem if they ever need mie. burt its like seeing someone so sad and u can't do a thing bout it its like. sigh. i'm sorry.

one word. two words. three words.

2005-01-18T14:56:00.000-08:00

i feel sick.

smile)

2005-01-15T14:30:00.000-08:00

a dae or two.
have ani of eu felt dis before?
eu feel sad.
burt u donoe e reason.
on and off.
for e past few daes.
i've been feeling a little of dis.
burt it goes a way after awhile.
hahas.
mie brother saes its a little of depression.
i swear.
i'm crazy.

smiles. life has been going on great. happie for everione mebee? at least u few closed ones arnd mie has gotten their right track in life and the love of their life. and mie too. (: winks* how has everione been?

i wenta da sinseh. ahahs. and someone saw this super ugly side of mie. =X sorrie for grabbing ur shirt so tight. i tried to hold back. burt i culdnt. and woahs. i went ..... u knoes. X= its irritating. cos after all dis pain. it seems ta be worst. oh wells. don wanna go back dere alreadie. cried and cried. stupid me.

school. two weeks has passed? time passes by fast. and i guess e stress's coming soon. (: and u'll see mie flustering from place to place. frens to frens. teachers to teachers. can someone please force me to study. tchers in school aren't enuff i guess. part time naggie*.

basketball. will it be a smooth one for me. or? i want back my confidence. i haf nothing wid mie. i can't attack. nor defence. i can't shoot. i can't do anithing. i seem ta haf lost everithing. i'll slowly gain it back, i hope.

dhear lord, pls bless e ones arnd mie. miss tan. and here i pray for ur mom tht she'll be strong and everithing wud go well. and miss tan. eu must be strong for urself and ur mom. and ur family. 4e3 will be here with eu.

dhear lord. i pray for everione to be forever loving and happy. and may everione jus live life with hope. no matter how's it gonna fall down on dem. u'll be dere ta be their lite and guide em thru.

(:

simply mie.

2005-01-11T16:40:00.000-08:00

well oh well.
haha-ed.
i'm tired.
i jus came home from sch.
i haf problems with mie knee.
suspect its da ligaments.
burt i hope its jus a mere muscle pull.
i don wan anithing more ta happen.
i'm sixteen only?
well.
o levels.
here i come.
basketball.
here i come.
smile)
i mus pull thru everithing.
friends?
where haf they gone to.
DRIFTED.
whad happened to eu chern hui?
thanks grace. (:
kaixin, where are eu?

-lost world-
pls help mie find back mie frens.
pls help mie find back mie patience.
pls help mie find back mie confidence.
pls help mie find back mie determination.
pls help mie find mie back.

utmost disappointment.

2005-01-04T21:30:00.000-08:00

i'm sad, sad, and sad.

totallie DISAPPOINTED.

i can't plae for guangyang like i did.

we dont haf enuff pple.

i can't transfer ta braddell westlake either.

i'm sec4.

destined not ta plae mie last year?

sigh*

i reallie wanna plae for inter sch.

i plaed for gyss bball since sec 1!

cries silently.

when mr leong told mie all dat.

tears churning in mie eyes.

mr leong: i'm sorry gwen, pls talk to mie if u are reallie upset bout dis.

mie mind: i donoe whad ta sae.

that was how sad i was.

i felt like crying.

burt i cudn't.

i felt like screaming mie heart out.

i cudn't.

i felt running outta sch.

i cudn't.

its hurts not ta plae mie last year.

sad dae*

first dae of sch in 2005.

2005-01-03T11:48:00.000-08:00

smiles* its e first dae of sch.
somehow. i didnt enjoy. burt it was O-K.

as usual miss low and her speech in e morning.
about tsunami. yepps.
we went back ta class. etc etc.
we got new form and ex form.
miss joey tan and mr daryl chong.
how fun. haha.
i guess so?
thereafter. i was put in front ta sit.
i was kinda happie. burt sad somehow.
how contradicting.
sitting in frront means better grades.
sitting in front means i cant slack no more.
well jus for e sake of mie O lvls.
its alrights. grins*

it was recess.
i wasn't reallie looking forward ta it all of a sudden.
i felt the big gap among us.
grace, chernhui, kaixin and huanling.
i drifted frrom eu all.
i was sad.
i kept quiet thruout the entire the eating period.
a sudden thing in mie which doesn't want mieself ta talk.
like whad right?
i haf no idea either.
i feel the drift.
i feel de distance.
i feel the gap.
where haf i gone?
is this a new and good year ahead for mie.
mr leong didn't tell mie whether theres B div.
dis year's sec 1 so small kewt and innocent.
will they be interested ta join bball.
or i should jus heck kaire about everithing.
if there's B div, i jus plae mie best.
dont haf, then i jus heck about everithing.
don haf ta attend the sports and games CCA orientation fair?
i don't knoe.

A SUDDEN MESS IN MIE MIND.

well oh well.
then it was english class.
english had banding too.
how cool.
well i got inta da first band. which i'm not supposed to i think.
donoe las.
i hafta do well.
JC entry.
at least a C6 lah.
like whad de hell.
if i ged C6 and other subj on e avg i mus ged a A1.
how fascinating.
obviously i wudn't wanna score a six.
its stupid yahs.
(:

first dae of sch.
STRESS.
was one word ta describe it.
how am i supposed ta overcome all dese.

:_______ wishes* of da year ;

*basketball - youth cup. combine sch?
- hope ta plae for inter schs.
*studies - a new year. new results. productive disciplined self. JC is de big word.

*myself - organised enuff ta knoe whad u reallie need and not whad u want. its 8 months.
ta oral. 6 months ta chinese paper. HUH? one big huh.

*mr penknife - hope u'll ged great results. excel both basketball and studies. good health the
whole year round. peace and calmness in ur mind. most imptly. HAPPY boi. (:

heh heh-ed.

2004-12-30T12:13:00.000-08:00

well oh well.
i nida shit al of a sudden.
burt i decided i'll blog fyrst.
no ideea whiee.
i guess todaea i'm mad.
totallie mad. (x
guess tonite i won't be home ta blog.
so might as well do it now?
smiles*

mie dad jus came inta e room.
and he told mie he nida shit too.
mad family. mad mad mad.
hahs.

i woke up at 6 todae.
then i woke up at 9 officially.
i wonder i woke up so earlie all of a sudden.
donoe.
feeling this lil tingy pinch in mie heart.
its like. hahas.
i donoe.
its a happie pinch.
happie feeling of wanting ta wake up.
okie.
i admit.
i'm jus mad.

ahahhas. aniwaes.
guys.
haf a great new yr's eve alrights. (:
all e best in e new year.
i'm going out ta bugis wid bird first.
and we're all going marina south for steamboat!
like one happie family going out for dinner.
ok i'm mad.
den we're heading down ta fisherman's village ta drink!!
yays.
and we're definitely going ta ged high-ed.
real high.
lurfe eu all.

mr pknfe.
i'll miss eu.
and we'll catch all e movies in e whole wide world okie?

(:

beautiful soul.

2004-12-30T00:43:00.000-08:00

hahas. and yes. mie beautiful soul is mr pnknfe. (: smiles* yepp. and i finallie fouund the song ''beautiful soul'' cos of juli! thanks juju brudder. smiles- ur de best. and ohm~ lols. here's de lyrics for it. i did nothing much todae. went hke. but never play ball. like whad de heck las. hmm. yahs. (: its kae lahs. had a good time talking ta dharling huuilin!! yepp yepp.

I don't want another pretty faceI don't want just anyone to holdI don't want my love to go to waste I want you and your beautiful soulYou're the one I wanna chase You're the one I wanna holdI wont let another minute go to waste I want you and your beautiful soulI know that you are something special To you I'd be always faithfulI want to be what you always needed Then I hope you'll see the heart in me I don't want another pretty faceI don't want just anyone to holdI don't want my love to go to waste I want you and your beautiful soulYou're the one I wanna chase You're the one I wanna holdI wont let another minute go to waste I want you and your beautiful soulYour beautiful soul, yeahYou might need time to think it overBut im just fine moving forwardI'll ease your mind If you give me the chanceI will never make you cry c`mon lets tryI don't want another pretty faceI don't want just anyone to holdI don't want my love to go to waste I want you and your beautiful soulYou're the one I wanna chase You're the one I wanna holdI wont let another minute go to waste I want you and your beautiful soulAm I crazy for wanting youBaby do you think you could want me too I don't wanna waste your timeDo you see things the way I do I just wanna know if you feel it tooThere is nothing left to hideI don't want another pretty faceI don't want just anyone to holdI don't want my love to go to waste I want you and your beautiful soulYou're the one I wanna chase You're the one I wanna holdI wont let another minute go to waste I want you and your beautiful soulYou beautiful soul, yeah

sorrie guys. mie keyboard's screwed up. totallie. so e lyrics screwed too. X( sorrie. meebee u all cud try lyricscafe.com under jesse mccartney. (:

whad a dae.

2004-12-28T23:12:00.000-08:00

whad a dae. i slept till 4!! mie goodness mie. gees*

then i wenta mit wenyi and brad mac. talk n talk n talk. was fun. (:

then i wenta mit birdie they all at woodlands.

ahahhas. whad a dae rights?

i'm penning off here.

imu*

GREAT (:

2004-12-26T01:00:00.000-08:00

xmas eve.

cheryl.
van.
shaohua.
mie.
we watched nobody knoes.
we sprayed.
we got sprayed.
we ate.
we had FUN.
we were tired.
bimbo poon (cheryl) stayed over at mie hse.

(:

xmas dae.

mr penknife. (:
frrom plaza sing ta cine.
from cine tu bishan.
from bishan tu yishun.

kungfu master?

nono. it was a world without thieves.

1205 showw.

we walked near a river? or a dam.
it was reallie breezy and sweet.
thanks for e walk.
i enjoyed it.
smiles.

ilu*

xmas was great dis year. thanks everione. (:

shop. shop. shop.

2004-12-22T00:13:00.000-08:00

feel so so so so so so sinful todaes.
made dharling wait for so long for mie. in e end. i didn't meet him.
made birdie wait fer mie eveen longer. mebee one hour!
burd i met her and jinhuui in e end las.
sucha sinful dae lah.
sighh.
i'm realllie sorrie.

here i am now. drinking hot choco.
ahahahs. went shopping wid jinhui and birdie todae.
bought lotsa stuff?
not reallies.
i wenta ged mie 3rd ear hole thou.
and i made jinhui and bird ged pink ear studs wid mie.
ahahas. evil smile*
yeah. jinhui got her earhole!!! yays.
ahha i'm mad. quite mad.
then i saw this roxy bag? was quite nice.
might geddit.
burdden. depends. i still wan mie army backpack fer sch!
ahahas. i'm nuts rights. reallie nuts.
right right right.
oh yah. birdie got a barney for me for xmas.
my earlie xmas gift. so kewt las.
hehes. (: still haf yet ged those xmas gifts.
dying* hmm. yeahs. burt i had a fun dae thou.
den saw reallie kewt rings! ahahs. at mini bits and pieces.
yeahs. and i saw mie favourite elmo at simply toys.
then the other dae i saw the big huggable cookie monster at tampines.
tht was when i saw maia and sly. maia's reallie a hot mom! (x
yup yup. was so tempted ta walk into topshop.
burt i barred mieself from there. lols.
nuts rights. weees.
then we went for training alreadies.
went training.
guess wad.
6 pple turned up only.
reallie sad.
den was crapping wid coach and coach was reallie sad bout some stuff.
both tungsan and chong ghee.
all his players like leaving him. sighh*
yea. den we wenta eat at amk central.
ahahhas. we were dere arouund 8 plus.
and we stayed till 10plus.
ahahhas. coach told us so mani funnie stuff bout his pri sch kids.
laughed till we drop. lols.
kids are jus so lovable.
lalas. i shall end here?
a little tired.

didn't see eu todae dharling.
ur leg got worst?
miss eu.
hope everithing will be alright fer eu.
and smile) kae?
everithing will be over soon.
and everithing wil go smoothly in time to come.

its the 18th.

2004-12-18T00:49:00.000-08:00

hmm. mani things happening on dis dae. sad and happy.

HAPPY.
pinky's bdae.
grace's bdae.
sum pple gedding together.

SAD.
mie buddie's sad dae.
cos sum pple are gedding together.
leaving her in midst of nowhere and not knowing anithing at all and has ta find out everithing herself.

sighh. taliee. sorrie i can't console u much. i can't ask ya not think also. cos ur down here so sad and they're hafing fun over dere. mie lil micheal angelonie. u don be too sad. cos u shun cry over someone whose not worth ur tears thou she had such a special significant place in ur heart. u mus face e facts tht one dae u two wil still part and dere's no future so be thankful for the special daes u had with her.. and the fact tht they both won't last forever together either .. i knoe ur reallie hurt and sad deep down inside burt nobodi seems to knoe.. i'm here ta tell eu i'm still here alrights .. i guess some things reallie weren't meant to be .. and all u kann do is ta lurfe her from afar .. burt i believe u'll still move on .. don let this small little setback turn into someone digusting okayes.. xD continue ta gif ur lurfe whose someone is more worth it .. burt still .. whenever u start anithing .. u mus tell urself there's no forever for this okay.. and remember ta cherish everi single dae cos u'll never know wad will happen .. u've ta treat dis as a passing phrase of ur life buddie .. i believe u overcome this.. u'll stand stronger and better. and i believe u can do it alrights .. no matter wad. the world is not falling on eu at all .. so eu better not gif up on urself alrights .. smile lil angelonie.

yeahs. so here i am ta blogg. shit las. i suddenly feel like eating bean curd wid soya bean!!! sobs. die le la. i keep hafing veri weird kinda cravings ya knoes. horrible mie. (: i rot at hm e whole dae!!! can eu believe it.. shit manns. so un-meaningful. wasted mie whole dae. burt its okae las. jus for a dae. tmmr i'm going to plae bal wid cally and birdie. donoe if i can mit eu* a nots. i hope can las. i miss eu*..

dear lord. i pray for that the world and pple arnd mie is feeling happie. and tht their sadness will be overcome. lord. pls guide em thru their darkest and hardest path and lead them to lite. and i pray tht all will be fine and well so for the world to be in peace.

geees.

2004-12-16T08:39:00.000-08:00

i'm lazyy ta block.

i got a swollen finger.

its blue black.

gee.

ahhas.

i'm tired.

tmmr's sch training's at 8!

i gotta wake up at 7.

wad am i ta do.

i'm gonna cry tmmr like i never cry before.

cos i'm getting mie knee repaired.

gee.

i hope i won't bite tmmr.

smile*

lalalas.

2004-12-16T01:58:00.000-08:00

ahahahs i'm kindaa lazzyy ta blog actualie. quite tireedd. yeass. den i woke up arnd like 12 todaes den go fer tuitionn. den i was payying attention so attentivly. woahs. yas. learning bout GENES. whees. yeahs and i sorta fell in lurve with drawwing the diagram..

parent phenotype.
genotype.
gamates.
F1 generation.
genotype.(offspring)
phenotype.
ratio.

ahahhas. wee. i cud do everithing .. lalalas. and the DNA part was quite fun thou.yupp. was quite a interesting lesson afterall. (: ahahahs. lalalas~ i'm going crazyy las. boo~ ahahas. sperms and de egg. 23 chromosomes! ahahas. in a human. 46 chromosomes. then de donoe wad co-dominance thingg. mitosis, meiosis. all the rubbish rubbish stuff.
yeas then after tht wenta BH then i wenta go thru al mie notes and studie at de CC dere. and e milo sucks. oops. it reallie sucks las. taste like plain water can. horrible? (: yahs. then after tht slacked at e court till our match started. and dat was when mie dae start ta be ..... sadd? hmm. yas. i plaed so so so badly. i was like a total idiot on court. donoe what i doing also. gee. sighh. nvm. i wanna go get mie knee healed and everything also. all mie free throws. went down e drain. as good as not drawing the fouls las. useless mie can. and todae i found it so difficult ta run. mie limbs weren't as agile. like .. all mie muscles and veins jus stuck and cun run las. horrible. then aiyahs. bad game for mie todae. burt everione played so well and got the champ! three cheers* smile. yea. i'll work hard fer everithing i guess. and al e more. next yr's mie O's. gees. (: i mus work even harder no matter wart. i must. and i will.

and guys. i reallie lurfee dis song. (: take sum time ta read e lyrics. n download if u can.smiles*

"Why (Are We Still Friends)"

We do almost everything that lovers do

And that’s why it’s hard, just to be friends with you

Every time your heart is broken by the fool

I want you to know that it hurts me too

It’s hard to wipe your tears away (tears away)

Knowing that you should be with me

Now tell me why

:Chorus::

Why – why are we still friends

When everything says

We should be more than we are

And tell me why every time

I find

Someone that I like

We always end up just being friends (Just Being Friends)

I would hate for you to find somebody new

Who you really love, cause it would mean losing you

But am I a fool girl not to say

If I’m always scared

I’ll lose you anyway

Somehow somewhere I’ve got to choose (got to choose)

No matter if it’s win or lose

Now tell me why

::Chorus::

I don’t wanna be like your brother

I don’t wanna be your best friend

I only wanna be your lover

When will this end

If I told you that I wanna be in your life

Then you could be the woman in mine

{CHORUS x2}

its a beautiful song. and i can keep repeating it. e first time i heard it .. i cried. and yes i'm a stupid crybaby yas. bleh. i'll end here. chyyos!

chopper's lil dae.

2004-12-14T08:01:00.000-08:00

sighh. i jus finished mie bath. here i am sneezing awae. feel like skinning mie nose alive. -.- frigging nose. can't stand it. how did i ever get flu? how how how? like i knoe. like anibodie wil knoe. gees. i jus took e medi. will feel dizzy wizzy soon i guess. nvmm. i'll try ta blog wadeva i can. had a great dae todae. i guess? smile* woke up like arnd 2 las. den bimbo poon went home. yepp. then i wenta mit shao hua. wenta BH. budden can't plae bball. so we went walking arnd heartland mall den ate yoshi and went ta paya lebar's match. yepp. there after we went ta plae ball! (: had fun todae las. as in.. i didn't feel irritated at al todae. not a single teenie weenie bits. did i irritate anione todae? i hope not. the only sad thing todae is i lost mie water bottle!!!!!!!! i'm so sad. chopper's getting blunt. veri blunt. and veri rusty. so sadd. i jus owned tht bottle for two daes. and its all GONE. sighh. nvm. mebee i'll jus ged tht love potion water bottle. ahahahs. i'm crazzyy. smile.

and i start ta ponder again. *ahhcewws* did i alwaes gif e impression i didn't kaire .. i mean. aahh i seem to alwaes pass e wrong msg arnd les. burt. i donoe. issit good or bad. i donoe either. its a lil confusing. burt life has been going on a little fine for mie now.. thanks fer everione arnd mie. especially penknifee!! *chops* smile* well. thanks bimbo poon too. (: so yea. i've been playing ball everi other daee. whee. when will i be not lost again? when will i not be confused again .. never will be las. wish i was 3 yrs old noww. its justa passing remark cos i knoe tht will never happen .. its a passing phrase of teenage life now .. and .. am i growing up? as in .. not literally. burt ya knoes. i hope i am. hafta be realistic wid mieself now. i haf to knoe what i want. and what i don want. i haf ta distinguish everithing mieself. and i will. and i had better make a good decision. and i hafta stop hiding mieself and living in mie own lil ghurl's world. i haf ta be frank and true to myself. i admire the courage some of gurl frens haf. they can jus sae everithing out jus like tht .. even if it was to confess ta the guy they like. shake head* burt i'm jus not like that. i am mie. and yeas. i guess its good and bad. no ideea either. is lurfing from afar and in silence better? or ?? ahhas. i'm dis crazyy lil chopper. i'm a silly and retarded one. X= hey frens. ponder awhile for uself. wad is happiness to u this passing phrase of life? (: buhbie everiones.

ha-ha-ed.

2004-12-13T11:13:00.000-08:00

heyyees. mie blog mie blog and mie blog. sum other time then i'll link u guys alrights. (: todae's a .... bad dae. good dae? i donoe. cheryl's at mie hse. sleeping noww. tht mad bimbo. ahahhas. mie MAPA. lols. i'm kinda nuts. still up and awake at dis time. burd this is mie for dis few daes. i mean like. i will catch mie sleeping time again. burt it takes time. (: i'm slowly moving on. veri slowly. everidae's bball and bball. and i think tmmr i'll rest. smiles* well oh well? yeahs. wenta queensway ta take our nike stuff todae. den after went BH ta plae ballie. den wenta eat. and off i went home. and here i am now. trying to crap. burt i can't seem ta get anithing out of mie. sheesh. nvm. i shall shudupp and find something ta chop and skin it alive!! (: there'll be more ta come.